This or That for Couples: 100+ Either-Or Questions

100+ this or that questions for couples. They're quick to answer, easy to play anywhere, and surprisingly good at showing where you match and where you don't.

How to Play This or That

Read a pair out loud and both answer at the same time, on the count of three. Matching answers earn a point; mismatches earn a "why?" Use it on road trips, over dinner or as a date-night warm-up.

Why This or That Works So Well for Couples

Most conversation games ask you to come up with an answer from scratch. This or that does the hard part for you: every question has only two options, so nobody freezes, and the answers come fast. That speed is what makes it fun. You find out in ten minutes that your partner would pick mountains over beaches, tacos over pizza and a quiet night in over a party.

The real value is in the follow-up. When you both pick the same option, you learn where you already match. When you don't, you get an easy, low-stakes reason to ask "why?" Start with the quick picks, move to the date night and relationship sets, and save the deep dilemmas for when you have time to talk. Playing this or that once a month is also a fun way to see how your answers change.

100+ This or That Questions for Couples

Fun Quick Picks

Quick-fire picks. Answer fast, explain later.

  1. Coffee or tea?
  2. Cats or dogs?
  3. Beach or mountains?
  4. Sweet or salty?
  5. Early bird or night owl?
  6. Pizza or tacos?
  7. Movies or TV series?
  8. Summer or winter?
  9. Books or podcasts?
  10. Texting or calling?
  11. City or countryside?
  12. Pancakes or waffles?
  13. Sunrise or sunset?
  14. Comedy or horror?
  15. Cook at home or eat out?
  16. Sneakers or sandals?
  17. Road trip or flight?
  18. Chocolate or vanilla?
  19. Board games or video games?
  20. Rain or snow?
  21. Hot shower or bath?
  22. Fries or onion rings?
  23. Spotify shuffle or curated playlist?
  24. Theme park or museum?
  25. Breakfast or dinner?
  26. Sushi or burgers?
  27. Pen or pencil?
  28. Window seat or aisle?
  29. Plan everything or go with the flow?
  30. Superpower: fly or be invisible?

Date Night Picks

Use these to plan your next date, or just to settle old debates.

  1. Fancy dinner or picnic?
  2. Movie theater or movie night in?
  3. Dancing or karaoke?
  4. Wine bar or dive bar?
  5. Mini golf or bowling?
  6. Cooking class or wine tasting?
  7. Concert or comedy show?
  8. Stargazing or city lights?
  9. Brunch date or late-night dessert?
  10. Escape room or arcade?
  11. Hike or bike ride?
  12. Spa day or adventure day?
  13. Plan it together or surprise date?
  14. Dress up or stay casual?
  15. Double date or just us?
  16. Sunset walk or sunrise coffee?
  17. Try a new restaurant or go to our favorite?
  18. Game night or puzzle night?
  19. Weekend getaway or staycation?
  20. Road trip playlist: yours or mine?

Love and Relationship Picks

Questions about how you like to love and be loved.

  1. Love letter or surprise gift?
  2. Cuddle or hold hands?
  3. Say "I love you" or show it?
  4. Big anniversary party or quiet dinner for two?
  5. Morning kiss or goodnight kiss?
  6. Talk it out right away or cool off first?
  7. Matching outfits: cute or cringe?
  8. Share dessert or order your own?
  9. PDA or keep it private?
  10. Big spoon or little spoon?
  11. Plan the future or live in the moment?
  12. Handwritten note or long text?
  13. Joint bank account or separate?
  14. Sleep in or get up early together?
  15. One big vacation or several small trips?
  16. Kids or pets (or both)?
  17. Couple friends or separate friends?
  18. Quality time or acts of service?
  19. Compliments or hugs?
  20. Surprise party or planned celebration?

Deep Dilemmas

Harder choices that tell you a lot. Ask "why?" after every one.

  1. Be right or be kind?
  2. Know the future or change the past?
  3. Travel the world or build a home?
  4. Passion or stability?
  5. Few close friends or many friends?
  6. Honest but hurtful or kind but vague?
  7. Love or money?
  8. Adventure or comfort?
  9. Forgive or forget?
  10. Fame or privacy?
  11. Head or heart?
  12. Big city career or small-town peace?
  13. Dream job with low pay or okay job with great pay?
  14. Live without music or without movies?
  15. Always say what you think or never speak again?
  16. Relive your best day or skip your worst?
  17. Know everyone's secrets or keep all of yours?
  18. Retire early or work doing what you love forever?
  19. Be understood or be admired?
  20. Grow old together in one place or keep moving?

Spicy Picks18+

Suggestive picks for adults in a playful mood.

  1. Candles or lights off?
  2. Slow kiss or spontaneous kiss?
  3. Lingerie or your partner's T-shirt?
  4. Massage or bubble bath together?
  5. Morning or night?
  6. Whisper or text something flirty?
  7. Romantic playlist or silence?
  8. Plan the evening or let it happen?
  9. Kiss on the neck or on the lips?
  10. Hotel weekend or cabin weekend?
  11. Flirt in public or in private?
  12. Dance close or cuddle on the couch?
  13. Sweet talk or playful teasing?
  14. Hand on the knee or arm around the shoulder?
  15. Say what you want or show it?

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a this or that game?

A quick question game where you choose between two options, like coffee or tea. For couples it's a fast way to discover shared tastes and funny differences.

Is this or that good for a first date?

Yes. The fun and date night sections are low-pressure and give you easy follow-up topics.

How do you score this or that as a couple?

Answer at the same time and count how many times you match. It is less about the score and more about the conversations the mismatches start.

More Couples Games

By the Love Language Lab editorial team · Updated